Thursday, June 23, 2022

Residency 4, Day 2: 'As long as I live I will have control over my being.' - Artemisia Gentileschi


It is not always easy to know what to do. In fact, arguably, it is surprising people are motivated to do anything at all. That is considering there is no meaning in the universe, especially. About a year ago, I arranged to meet the person who ran the MAFA I completed about two decades ago. He'd had health problems including a period, speculatively due to the medication prescribed, of having zero drive. It sounded terrible, to my ears unimaginable. The ordinary way he described it got me thinking. Perhaps curiosity, and the energy to pursue interests, is not special or mysterious, but simply chemical or equivalent. On the other hand, and this is maybe Beckettian, once you have decided life is worth living, or a slightly better option than not being alive, then that slightly becomes enormous, if not infinite. Leaving out the question of pain or love, if you accept that not being alive would be one-hundred percent nothing, then existence and consciousness becomes everything. So, it is a binary thing. Which would you like: nothing or everything? I'll have everything please. And it is enchanting, it has its charms, this existing business.

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